hey, i'm mae
i'm here to help you become the one holding the pen, writing the story of your life. to help you unbecome who you've been told to be, so that you can return to the deepest truth of who you've always been.
the art of
unbecoming
A path of rediscovery, awakening the pieces of you that have long been waiting. Your journey of Unbecoming begins here.
take the [free] quiz
© 2025 content and images in this blog are copyright of Sondered Co., unless stated otherwise. you may repost + share a summary of this content, up to 100 words, for non-commercial use, so long as credit is given by linking back to this website + original post.
there comes a moment in life when something no longer fits. maybe it’s a belief you once held close, a version of yourself you’ve clung to, or a path you’ve walked for so long that you assumed it was yours. but suddenly, something shifts. it doesn’t feel right anymore. perhaps you can’t explain why, but deep in your bones, you sense a pull - a quiet, persistent knowing that you’re meant for something different, something deeper, something more aligned.
this is the process of unbecoming.
unbecoming is not about losing yourself. it is about stripping away everything that was never truly yours to begin with. it is the conscious unraveling of societal conditioning, familial expectations, and internalized limitations. it is the realization that much of who you have been—how you’ve moved, spoken, and shaped your life—has been influenced by the world around you rather than the truth within you. and if you’re feeling that pull, if you’re sensing that there is more for you beyond the life you’ve been living, then you are exactly where you need to be.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
before you continue reading this blog post, i invite you to write down something that you feel is unbecoming, something that you feel within that is no longer sitting right, that no longer fits you. remember- this doesn’t have to ‘make sense’ and/or you don’t have to know why something is no longer for you. sometimes we know, sometimes we don’t. sometimes there isn’t an explanation for it.
throughout this post, and within The Art of Unbecoming masterclass, I'm going to be using that definition to guide you through identifying those things that you no longer find flattering or appropriate, and moving you through finding what is appropriate, finding what is flattering to you now.
every single moment of your life has brought you to this point. if you're here reading this now, it is likely that something is no longer fitting and you are ready to unbecome that person you've been programmed to be so that you can step into the person you know you are with every fiber of your being.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“unbecoming” refers to something that is not fitting, flattering, or appropriate. we hear it in passing phrases like, “that attitude is unbecoming of you” or “that outfit is unbecoming.”
but what if we reclaimed this word? what if we used it as a tool for self-exploration, for shedding outdated versions of ourselves that no longer fit?
ask yourself:
•what parts of my life no longer feel aligned?
•what habits, beliefs, or thought patterns feel restrictive rather than expansive?
•what expectations have i been carrying that do not belong to me?
since birth, you have been shaped by the voices of others. your parents, teachers, peers, and society as a whole have influenced your understanding of yourself and the world. every single person in your circle, every single person that you have ever come in contact with has influenced your life in some way, maybe without you even recognizing. but all of these people have shaped who you are right now, in this moment.
they taught you what success ‘should’ look like, what behaviors are acceptable, and what path you ‘should’ follow. some of these lessons may have served you, but others were simply inherited beliefs - ones that may not hold truth for you anymore.
unbecoming is the act of stepping back and asking, “is this really me?”
the art of unbecoming: shedding who you were told to be to step into who you truly are
The Art of Unbecoming Quiz
Unbecoming is the process of shedding, releasing, and reclaiming. It’s not about becoming someone new, but returning to the deepest truth of who you’ve always been.
A path of rediscovery, awakening the pieces of you that have long been waiting.
Your journey of Unbecoming begins here.
take the quiz
this process of shedding is not just happening on an individual level. it is happening collectively. we are living in a world that's unbecoming, it's not flattering, it doesn't fit anymore. the guidance that we received as children, the guidance that has been passed down through generations, no longer fits. that guidance does not fit this world.
the world we have known for generations is unraveling. structures, traditions, and belief systems that once seemed immovable are now being questioned, dismantled, and reshaped.
in recent years, we have witnessed a collective awakening. we are no longer blindly accepting the narratives we were given. we are challenging authority, redefining success, and reclaiming our autonomy. we are realizing that many of the “rules” we were taught no longer serve us. we're seeing this expansion, this evolution, this consciousness, that hasn't been a part of our world in a really, really long time.
this shift is both exhilarating and terrifying. it is a death and a rebirth. a necessary unraveling to make space for something new.
the world itself is unbecoming
unbecoming is not just about releasing the old - it is about stepping into something greater: your personal power.
personal power is often misunderstood. many associate power with control, dominance, or force. but true personal power has nothing to do with controlling others. it is about reclaiming sovereignty over your own life. it is about choosing yourself without apology. it is about recognizing that you have always been powerful, even in moments when you were made to believe otherwise.
standing in your personal power means making decisions from a place of self-trust rather than external validation. it means setting and upholding boundaries, even when others push back. it means acknowledging your desires without shame or guilt. it means speaking to yourself with kindness, replacing self-doubt with self-compassion, and moving through the world in a way that honors your truth.
if you’ve been waiting for permission to step into your personal power, this is it.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
i encourage you to write your own definition of personal power.
what does power feel like to you? what does it look like? what does it mean for you to step in and stand in your personal power?
i’ll share mine: personal power means taking radical responsibility for my life, not blaming other people or circumstances for things that didn't go your way. personal power means tapping into desires and everything that brings you pleasure, that makes you feel joy, getting clear on boundaries and sticking to those boundaries. personal power means to think beautifully about myself, to speak and think and write kindly about myself. personal power means replacing shame and guilt and fear and negative self-talk with uplifting aligned thoughts and beliefs. it's doing the inner work to heal your shadows and to release what no longer serves you. it's acknowledging that you have gifts to share with the world. it's acknowledging that you have the power to live your life exactly the way you desire to. it's acknowledging that you are a powerful being in the world.
if you need help writing your own definition of personal power, use these reflection prompts as a guide.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
stepping into personal power
one of the most profound realizations in the process of unbecoming is understanding that your desires are not random.
since childhood, you have been conditioned to suppress your wants, to shrink your dreams, and to settle for what is “acceptable.” you have been told that wanting more is selfish, that contentment should be enough, and that anything beyond basic survival is indulgence.
but desire is not frivolous. it is sacred.
your deepest desires—the dreams that won’t leave you, the callings that ignite something within you—are your soul’s way of guiding you home. they are whispers from your highest self, urging you to step into alignment. when you honor these desires, you align with the life you were meant to live.
so ask yourself:
•what do i truly want, beyond what i have been told i should want?
•what brings me joy, no matter how small?
•where have i been holding back out of fear or guilt?
desire as a guiding force
as you step into this new version of yourself, boundaries will become essential.
boundaries are not about shutting people out. they are about protecting your energy. they are a declaration of self-respect, a commitment to honoring your needs.
but here’s the truth: when you begin setting boundaries, some people will resist. there will be those who benefited from your lack of boundaries, and they may push back. they may try to guilt you into returning to the version of yourself that served them.
this is not your burden to carry.
setting boundaries is not selfish. it is self-preservation. it is the foundation of self-trust.
the importance of boundaries
one of the biggest obstacles in the process of unbecoming is guilt.
guilt is a tool of conditioning. it is used to keep people small, to make them question their worth, to prevent them from stepping into their fullest expression.
but here is what i want you to know: you do not need to feel guilty for choosing yourself.
i used to feel really guilty about wanting different things from life. but what was stronger than any of the guilt i felt was the unhappiness i felt. the lack of energy, the lack of motivation, the lack of inspiration, the lack of power. the lack of power in my own life outweighed any of the guilt that i felt.
the guilt you feel might not be yours - it may (and likely is) be a projection of those around you. but it's yours to work through. you've got to move through that guilt to feel that joy, that happiness. to feel that energy and the motivation, the inspiration and the power. if you are in this space of guilt, i can tell you that the other side is worth it.
you do not need to feel guilty for wanting more, for dreaming bigger, for creating a life that feels aligned with your soul.
shame will tell you that you are too much. that you are not enough. that you are wrong for wanting what you want.
release it.
you are allowed to change. you are allowed to grow. you are allowed to unbecome everything that no longer serves you so that you can fully step into the person you were always meant to be.
releasing guilt and shame
as you move through this journey, you may feel lost at times. shedding layers of conditioning can feel disorienting. you may question who you are without the labels, the expectations, and the familiar patterns.
but trust this: on the other side of unbecoming is truth. on the other side of shedding is clarity. on the other side of releasing is freedom.
you are not lost. you are coming home to yourself.
the unbecoming is the becoming
pause, reflect, keep going
your journey is unfolding.
will you turn back, dive inward, or seek what lies beyond?
reflection prompts
resources for personal growth + empowerment
back to the journal
